Porch Sittin’

This is an old piece that I wrote during a particularly trying summer with no real vacation. The fortuitous appearance of this porch reminded me of the importance of creating pockets of peace in our lives.

Everyone needs to spend a little time sittin’ on the porch. One recent summer, I found out exactly how therapeutic porch-sitting can be. After a very stressful Spring – endless rain, work – and lack of work – issues, money issues, dental issues – all the usual less-exciting aspects of life – a friend and I were able to commandeer another friend’s house for a few days.

This house is no place special. It’s a couple of miles outside a college town at the foot of the Shawangunk mountains. The house isn’t fancy. But it has a porch. It has a wide front porch with a deep, cushiony couch and a couple of chars to put your feet up on. The owner of the house had possessed the great good sense to buy up 26 acres of forested swampland across the street so that no one could build there. She left the old barn to deteriorate at its own pace. This view elevated the experience from simple relaxation to pure bliss.

What did we do on that porch? We SAT. And sat. And sat. It was wonderful. The cares of the past weeks slipped away like so many layers of shed skin. Time stopped. We couldn’t move. We sat. We stared into space. We stared at birds. And trees. And the occasional chipmunk. We sat. And we stared. And we breathed. Quietly. Evenly.

Sometimes, we roused ourselves to scratch our master teacher behind the ears. A loving bichon frise, he occasionally roused himself to shift from one free-for-petting hand to another. Sometimes, we roused ourselves long enough to devote attention to basic necessities. We thought about reading. But mostly, we sat.

I don’t remember the last time I was as relaxed as during those few days. When the time came, I didn’t want to get up and go home. But I still haven’t really left that porch. All I need to do is say "sittin’ on the porch" and I’m there. Porch sittin’, it turns out, is a state of mind. Do you take a little time to remove yourself from the world? It heals what ails you! Try it – sittin’ on the porch.

Need Some Time to Regroup?

I love Fast Company and look forward to what’s going on in their blog as much as what’s going on between the covers. This morning, a post caught my attention.  Practical Sabbaticals.  The post referred to a recent New York Times article (you may need to sign up – free – and log in to read this one) about an increasing number of companies that are incorporating some form of sabbatical.

So, this got me thinking about sabbaticals for everyone. How would your life be different if you took some serious time for yourself? How would you spend that time? What would you accomplish that you are not doing now?

Don’t Worry – Be Grumpy

OK, OK – I’ve already posted Put on a Happy Face on The Emotionally Intelligent Coach.  But the conversation goes on.  I’m with Barbara Sher on this one – don’t worry so much about that positive outlook; just keep doing.  As long as you keep working as hard as you can, eventually you’ll get something to happen.  It’s OK to be dismal or depressed or just plain unhappy on occasion.  You have so much work to do just keeping up in life (remember the Red Queen in Alice?  "In this country, we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in the same place"  Don’t give yourself the added burden of having to manage your emotions all the time.

Of course, this may be a friendship gage as well.  Some people can only handle cheery.  Maybe you’d rather have fewer – and more resilient friends.  Not that this gives anyone permission to spend their adult years emulating Eeyore, seeing only the darkest side of everything.  It does, though, give everyone permission to stop acting and just plain BE.  And to be realistic.  So when no one has signed up for your workshop, it may just be better to pull the plug than act "as if" at a certain point.  Or when you call someone who has hives all over his body from deciding that it’s fine to cut floor boards in your pj’s instead of the protective gear you shouldn’t expect good cheer.  Or when it’s rainy, dismal, dark and damp, it’s better to curl up with hot chocolate and schmaltzy movies than to chase rainbows.

Arlie Hochschild, in The Managed Heart, speaks of the toll professions like flight attendant take on employees who are expected to smile all the time.  How about a new value on neutral?  And a shoulder to cry on as needed.  Trust me – we’ll all smile again, and the wait will be worth it.

What Do You Do When Technology Hates You?

Lately, it seems that Mercury has gone into permanent retrograde. For some strange reason, my last post will NOT appear on my Squidoo lenses.  (For Women Who Lead and Life-Work Cafe) Shows up fine here; doesn’t exist there.  No one seems to know why.

I got a call yesterday from someone two blocks down – different building, different name, same apartment number – who just received my latest Netflix envelope and would like me to come and get it.  This morning I received a call from a mail clerk who was trying to find a way to get a letter I’d sent to the right organization.  I am amazed by the generosity of both of these people.

So, my answer to the question, "What do you do when technology hates you?" is simple – be thankful that there are still plenty of humans who love you.  I’m grateful that some who don’t even know me are willing to go the extra mile.

Andy Wibbels, Bookfat and Success

Andy Wibbels wrote an absolutely hysterical piece on Bookfat recently.  He says no one warned him about writer’s spread.  Hey, Andy – rejoice in that bookfat!  You now have a terrific book!

So, my question (read rant) today is where’s my book contract?  I speak here not just for myself, but for all of you sitting out there stretching over your well-earned bookfat to log another thousand miles at the ol’ keyboard and have nothing to show for all your efforts but elevated cholesterol and tight pants.  We want our contracts!  Universe, are you listening?  Are you observing our unsculpted tushes, our well-rounded middles?  Have you counted our chins lately?

And wait!  Don’t leave out our wraith-like brethren and sisteren (would someone please tell me what the correct form really is?) who exhibit their mileage in visible ribs and sunken cheeks.  Doesn’t all that under-eye luggage count for something?

Don’t get me wrong – Andy is one smart, knowledgeable guy and has done the work and paid his dues.  He deserves massive sales to follow that contract.  He should be rewarded with new-found purpose and energy – and ample funds – to make that bookfat a thing of the past.

And we who have honorably earned our bookfat in anticipation should be rewarded too.  I’ll be checking my mailbox in a while.  I expect my contract to be there!