Reading Anything Wonderful?

Donna Karlin posted the following challenge on Transformational Girlfriends:

How much are we missing because life is just too busy?  So my challenge for this week is, what book are you going to start reading with the intention of finishing it?

My response is that I pledge to finish books that I’ve started. I listed a few there, and here are a few more:

Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Age Power by Ken Dychtwald

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith

Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins

What’s lurking on your bookshelf? What could you finish and then send off to a friend?

The 55 Days of Christmas – Again? Twelve Survival Tips!

This is an update of something I wrote last year – and just as timely today!

Did you notice the Christmas decorations going up on Halloween? Did a chill run down your spine? The holiday season seems to be getting longer and longer and shorter. Yes, shorter. Look at the expectations this season puts on you. Fifty five days are nowhere near enough to achieve Countessa MarthaGiadaNigelaPaula FoodNetwork Star perfection. I’m not sure I’m even up to Real Simple standards.

So much to do! Are your cards out? Did you shop ’til you dropped on Black Friday? Did you make wonderful decorations out of recycled paper products and acorns? Have you picked the absolutely perfect gift for everyone on your list? Are you absolutely sure that everyone is on that list? Do you have biodegradable color-coordinated wrapping paper, tags, and ribbon? Can you tie a perfect bow?

When will you be having your holiday party? What will you serve? What will you wear to everyone else’s event? Do you know what to tip your hairdresser? What’s the politically correct holiday greeting?

So many questions, so little time!

Holiday

madness really set in last year when I visited a friend for Thanksgiving. She had decided that she didn’t feel up to cooking, so she ordered from her local supermarket. And then began to obsess. It wouldn’t taste good. There wouldn’t be enough.

Turkey

, cranberry sauce, whole wheat rolls, roasted butternut squash, mashed potatoes and a pumpkin pie clearly was not enough for five people. We added extra side dishes – home made cranberry sauce, candied chestnuts, fruit stuffing, baked onions, candied sweets, baked sweets, peas with fresh mushrooms and three more pies. Oh – and at the last minute she ran back for a turkey breast – just in case.

Everything tasted great, and we all had a good time, but it really made me think about how easy it is to get caught up in holiday excess. So – how will you have a peaceful holiday season? Here are a few simple suggestions.

1. Just like Santa, make a list and check it twice. While you’re checking, do a little reality check (otherwise known as editing). Are you buying gifts for too many people? Are you planning on spending an unrealistic amount on each? Have you burdened yourself with impossible-to-find items? (No, my cousin will NOT get that antique fruit bowl this year either.)

2. Only accept invitations that make you happy. If that means none, go for it! An unbreakable prior engagement is always a valid excuse. No one needs to know that the engagement may be with your couch.

3. Wear comfortable clothes. Always. Don’t let tight shoes or a dubious neckline spoil your fun.

4. Shop in comfortable shoes. Carry your wallet someplace easy for you to reach but hard for anyone else to get at. Don’t burden yourself down with too many packages.

5. Buy on line. Presents, dinner, cards, reservations – all just a click away.

6. If you must send packages, remember that the Postal Service will now pick up packages at your home.

7. Don’t bake unless you would go into a serious depression if deprived of the experience. If you do bake, set limits. I will never again have more containers of cookies than can fit on a fully extended kitchen table.

8. This one is for next year. Pick up interesting gifts throughout the year. If you travel, this is a great way to have truly unique gifts. Just don’t forget where you put them. Last year I gave several lovely objects I’d bought in

Sicily

three years ago. I’d put them in a safe place. At least they eventually surfaced.

9. Simplicity is very classy. Repeat that twenty times, then start cutting back on your plans.

10. Gift cards are a wonderful thing. Want to give the perfect gift? Not only are gift cards perfect, but you can fit them in your carry-on luggage.

11. Travel light. Carry your pills, jewelry and one-ounce containers for the liquids you need. Wear something comfortable and a bit classy so that if your luggage is lost you’re reasonably prepared.

12. Block out time on your calendar to do absolutely nothing but take care of yourself – whether that means go to a movie, meditate, get a massage, or just take a nap. Pace yourself.

Above all, have fun. Giggle with your friends. Marvel at your favorite tree. I plan to sing too many carols and Christmas song much too loudly. I invite you to sing along!

Money Madness

One thing I’ve been struggling with lately is my attitude towards money, as I work to shift from a scarcity mentality to an abundance mentality. I’ve done all the usual affirmations, positioning of symbols where I would see them, Feng Shui reorganization – all externals.

And now for the really hard part – what goes on in my head. About a week ago I had a vivid memory of something that happened in the mid-70’s. I ran into a colleague from my first job who said, "I remember you – you were always worrying about your student load." In that moment, I realized that I had over 30 years of negative thinking to shift. With recognition comes the ability to change, so I’m excited by this discovery. And ready to get to work.

Right now, like many others in the early stages of retirement, I’m determined to build my resources. So, my shift has two parts:

1. I have enough. I have always had enough. I will always have enough. All those little and big fear demons can take a hike. I refuse to feel financial fear and will work to increase my financial knowledge and capability to ensure that I have more than enough.

2. I have the ability to create even greater abundance. I love my possessions, and they are more than enough – whether a new piece of jewelry or an old spatula that belonged to my grandmother – to bring me joy when I look at them. I will cherish them and use them as a reference point when considering something new. I plan to look at the price tag and think of how I can add this sum to my emerging portfolio. Fiscal responsibility.

Why this post now? I was checking in on Donna Karlin’s Perspectives blog this morning and read her post on Letting Go of Expectations. She said, This afternoon I was tagged by Robyn McMaster for the "Think Different Challenge ." It made me think and it made me want to share the challenge. You can click through to Robyn’s blog or read on. At the end, you’ll find some people I’ve tagged who I hope will jump in!

The Challenge…

The Think Different Challenge is all about finding something in your life you currently have negative thoughts or feelings toward (e.g. work or your mother-in-law), and deciding to look at it differently. It is about realizing that some things are just a part of life, so we may as well try to find the positives in them. Seth Godin

The rules for this writing project are:

1. Write a new blog post in which you “think different”. Follow my suggestions above, or be a bit different and interpret the challenge the way you want .
2. State that the post is a part of the Think Different Challenge and include a link and/ or trackback to this post so that readers know the rules of the challenge. Feel free to use the above banner (inspired, of course, by
3. Include a link and/ or trackback to the blogger who tagged you.
4. At the end of your post, go ahead and tag some fellow bloggers. Don’t forget to email them to let them know they have been tagged.
5. That’s it! Just sit back and enjoy reading peoples’ responses to the challenge.

So to keep this going, I Tag:

Leah Belair, http://www.leadingfromthefuture.com/

Bea Fields, http://www.fivestarleader.com/fivestarleaderblog/

Ronni Bennett, http://www.timegoesby.net/

Bethene LeMahieu, http://www.senseiandsensibility.com/

If you weren’t tagged, but would like to participate, please go ahead and write a post that fits in with the challenge. Thanks for playing!

Cancer and Courage

A dear friend is undergoing an extended round of chemotherapy to ensure that the ovarian cancer she had will never return. Every so often, I read about someone who says that cancer was a blessing in their life. I never truly understood that until now.

Hardship has made my friend brave. It has also made her outgoing and compassionate and able to enjoy life. For all the years I’ve known her (since 1963!) she’s worked and worried, worried and worked. Her life began to change when her granddaughter was diagnosed with autism. She started talking to people about this child and about autism. And she learned – about treatments, about programs, about new ideas.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, she continued to start new conversations. Finally retired, for the first time in her life she set out to make friends. And she’s collected dozens. She’s learned to play mah jong. She’s learned to spend money without fear or regret. She’s taken up tai chi. She and her husband will be throwing a big New Year’s Eve party and heading off to cruise Hawaii in March.

Recently, my friend and her sister came to visit for a few days. By the time they left, I needed to sit very still with my feet up! This woman at the mid-point between two rounds of chemo ran me ragged! We managed, in 4 days, to see 2 Broadway shows, explore South Street Seaport and the Lower East Side, including a tour of the Tenement Museum, dim sum in Chinatown, shopping on Madison and Fifth Avenues, a stop at Jaques Torres for hot chocolate, window shopping in SoHo and NoHo and tea at the St. Regis.

A more recent acquaintance will be coming to New York with her daughter between chemo sessions for a recently-diagnosed cancer. She too will pack more into a few days than seems humanly possible.  She sees this trip as a firm statement that cancer won’t stop her.

I think about these two women on mornings when I don’t feel like getting up off the couch and getting to work. It’s so easy to make excuses. It takes courage to live, whether you’re sick or well. I hope I find that courage every day.

Age Gottcha

I spent a weekend in Kingston visiting some dear friends. We had a great time running hither and yon, shopping, admiring the leaves, walking the dogs, winterizing one friend’s apartment, shopping, shopping, seeing a not-so-bad community theater production and trying new restaurants.

One of those restaurants brought on an "age Gottcha!" We walked into a charming country restaurant for lunch after spending an enjoyable hour browsing through a crafts collective. After we were seated, I looked around and noticed that we were surrounded by what were clearly old people. They had grey hair. They had wrinkles. And for a moment – just a moment – I thought, "Why are we here with all these Seniors?" Then I looked around my own table. Grey hair. Wrinkles. Whoops!

It was a bit of a jolt to be reminded that my companions and I are all past 60. It was also a joy to realize that it’s true that you’re only as old as you feel. How wonderful that it can take a long, careful look in the mirror to be reminded of your age. How wonderful to have a long list of adventures ahead. I think of my grandmother taking a new job in her mid-80’s – as caretaker to an old lady.

There’s something to all those commercials about the new retirement. And good genes and a good colorist can’t hurt!

OnGrowing Weekly Challenge – From Transformational Girlfriends

I’m re-posting here something that Transformational Girlfriend Donna Steinhorn dreamed up and shared with three other TGs. TG Donna Karlin, being a woman of action, pulled the post together. Comment, play along, or adapt to your own life. How are you standing up and being counted?

Donna S. and I have decided to create an OnGrowing Weekly Challenge to hear how people deal, cope, thrive and grow in their lives.

I maintain that the gap between where you are and where you want to be is filled by what you choose to do in the time available to you; every conversation, thought, choice and decision.

We can either blame someone else for our shortfallings, our level of success, our happiness or anything else you can think of but bottom line is, when we give the power of our destiny in whatever realm to someone else, we are choosing to give up control of our lives.

I truly believe that.

My challenge to you is, who are you giving your personal power away to and how are you going to take it back?” Tag 5 people to join us in this challenge. We can either choose our future or let someone else do it for us. Which would you prefer?

I realized that by trying to fix the world, dive in and help a gazillion people and organizations I wasn’t picking and choosing how I could have the biggest impact. By doing that, I was so worried by everything and everyone else that I was sacrificing myself for other causes. A friend and colleague of mine shared that to sacrifice something, (or ourselves) was to make something sacred. When she told me that I realized that I was making things sacred that just weren’t and compromising my practice, my business and my health by doing it. Now I’m making choices that are in alignment with my goals and purpose. It feels great to be able to say that!

I believe in order to be leaders in our fields we have to make choices about how to use our time, what work to do and how we do it in the best possible way that is in alignment with who we are and what we envision in our worlds.  Far too often we are talked into doing things that take our focus away from our life long goals or purpose.  For us to be strong leaders we need to learn how to make those choices.  It’s not always easy but the rewards are extraordinary.