Legacy – Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch has moved on, taken by pancreatic cancer. It is impossible to say “after losing his struggle” or “after a battle with.” This was a man who tried every avenue to extend his life, but battle? How can you say that about a life with this much joy?

Randy Pausch has left a legacy larger than the video or the book. As creator of the Alice Project, educational software that teaches students computer programming in a 3D environment, he’s left an ongoing, growing gift to the world of education.

If you still haven’t seen Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture, take the time to honor his memory by watching it now. Or see it again. Send it to your friends. If you’d like to see more, his friend and colleague Dr. Gabriel Robins has a collection of videos on his site.

Take a moment to honor a remarkable man who, at 47, crammed more into his life than most people do in twice the time.

Pausch’s example makes me take a good look at what I’m doing and what I hope to do and pushes me to push beyond the limits I think I have. It reminds me to honor my friends, to laugh every day, to have fun, and to reach out a hand to help.

Are you living each day fully?

What will your legacy be?

Hey, Workforce Pundits – Pre-Boomers Are Still Here!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those of us who are pre-Boomers. In general, we seem to be a forgotten group, especially those of us who immediately precede the elephant in the python (see The Little Prince).

This statement in an article from The Chicago Business Ledger caught my eye this morning:

The biggest emotional challenges stem from generational differences in values, beliefs, priorities and communication methods. That is a particularly potent problem in today’s work force, which consists of four generations: Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964); Cuspers (late Baby Boomers and early Generation X); Generation X (born 1965-1980); and Generation Y (born 1981-1994).

Hey!!!! We’re still here!!!! And we are, by the way, still working. Most of us will continue to work for a long time – some of us need to and many of us want to. We are C-level executives and business owners and college professors and directors of social service agencies. We are computer literate and many of us need to be surgically detached from our Blackberries. Ours are the positions succession planning processes are hoping to fill.

Karen, the bulk of your advice is excellent. Those of us who will be exiting the workforce over the next decade want to reach out to Gen X and Gen Y, understand their culture, entice them to feel our passion. We want to ensure the future. But please, remember that we’re not yet part of the past!

 

This is NOT your living room – a rant

Over time, most of us have gotten used to a lot of noise in our environments. And reminders to be quiet. If you’re old enough, you remember when people sat in silent awe in theaters – both live performances and movies. No one had to be reminded that side conversations were not welcome. Crying babies were taken out to the lobby. Cell phones would have been turned off if they had existed.

OK. Most folks shut down their phones when the announcement is made. The rest at least switch to vibrate. At a recent performance, though, I was treated to the strobe-like bright blue flashing of a neighbor’s phone straight through the first act of Gypsy. And some folks still text their way through movies.

Lately, though, I’ve been finding some new levels of noise on public transportation. Last week, on the subway, a group held a 10-station conversation that took shouting to a whole new level. Yes, they were sitting next to each other. No, they weren’t shouting into their cell phones (another common phenomenon). 

On a recent bus ride, the entire bus was treated to a speaker phone conversation about how important our fellow passenger was. There was a round of applause after he got off.

Today, I had a whole new experience. A woman sat down on the train, opened her laptop and began to work. As she typed away, we were all treated to full-volume renditions of her favorite music.

Why? Why do people either assume that we all want to know about their lives, hear their music, listen to their conversations? I can’t decide whether it’s because this is one way to feel important or because the boundaries between public and private have been so blurred that the subway car or theater or bus are truly indistinguishable from the living room.

I may just start asking. Meanwhile, I’m grateful for ear plugs.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow – Old Books

My bookcases reached acute overflow a few months ago and I finally decided to do something about it this weekend. Getting rid of books has never been easy for me. Each represents something – a memory, an idea that seemed important, a project, a phase of my life. Still, when you live in New York City in a one-bedroom apartment in a building with no storage – well, you get the idea.

I’ve been as creative as I can be in my use of space. All of Christmas is boxed up on a small shelf in my main closet. Off-season clothes are in storage bins high in the coat closet. Cooking magazines and professional journals that I have not yet been able to part with are stored in cute-but-efficient metal bins in an otherwise unusable corner. 

But the books! They keep coming! By this weekend, every shelf had books horizontally stacked across the top of the vertical books. Two DVD racks had been commandeered for overflow. As had one window sill and the radiator in front of it. Clearly, it was time for a change.

So, the sorting and weeding process began. Have I read this more than once? Does it give me pleasure? Will I read it again? Is it still useful as a professional resource? Is the same information a mere Google away? A 1982 cutting edge book on the relationship between men and women in the workplace didn’t survive even minimal scrutiny. Nor did a stack of New Directions volumes. What was a New Direction in 1995 is Ancient History today.

Why would I ever read this again? The Tin Drum, Pincher Martin, Adventures in the Skin Trade, Oblamov and Buddenbrooks don’t figure into my beach or subway reading this summer. Out. Similarly, all the Shopaholic books – great frivolous reading last year – are not going to stand the test of time.

Who was I trying to impress? Did I read this for an undergraduate course? The Confessions of Zeno, Elements of Style and several early feminist books joint the discard pile.

It was fun revisiting some of these old friends, acquaintances, trips into fantasies about who I was – maybe am – as a reader. A very few useless items were re-shelved. No, I’m not parting with my Norton’s Anthologies or the Complete Works of Shakespeare, even though they’re falling apart. And I’m keeping that unintelligible (it’s in German) copy of a book by a revered mentor because of the wonderful inscription he added.

Two shopping carts-full later there are no cross-hatched books. I’m smiling as I look around my living room. The shelves look lighter and I feel lighter.

Goodbye, old friends. Thanks for the memories.

Laughing All the Way

Did you know that laughter is a new form of yoga? That there are laughter clubs? Imagine – emotional and physical well-being all at once. 

According to Dr. Madan and Madhuri Katari:

Laughter Clubs are fully independent, not-for-profit, community based associations of people where all are welcome.

Laughter Clubs meet on a regular basis, are non-religious, non-political, non-competitive, and a place where you will laugh like you have never laughed before, leaving you refreshed and invigorated. You will do this for no reason at all, except the desire to improve your health and well-being.

Their website goes on to say:

• The unique concept of Laughter Yoga and Laughter Club is the brain child of Dr. Madan Kataria, a physician from Mumbai, India. Any one can laugh in a group for 15-20 minutes without depending upon great sense of humor, jokes or comedy. Laughter Yoga combines simple laughter exercises (simulated laughter) and gentle yoga breathing, which turns into real laughter when practiced in a group.
• Laughter Yoga is supported by powerful tools derived from the Western psycho analytical methods as well as Eastern spiritual laws. It will help you to stay in high spirits when life throws up challenges. It will enhance your ability to laugh and smile when dealing with negative emotions, situations and negative or difficult people.
• These powerful tools include: how does the human mind work? What is the meaning and purpose of life? Understanding laws of the universe which govern our life? Understanding negative emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, greed, guilt, sadness, lust and attachments. and cultivating positive attitudes like appreciation, forgiveness, service and devotion.
• To promote laughter club around the world we are organizing Laughter workshops, laughter seminars, laughter yoga leader training, laughter yoga teacher’s training, laughter yoga spiritual retreat and laughter yoga holidays.
• At present there are more than 5000 laughter clubs world wide and Laughter Clubs have been covered by prestigious television channels like BBC, CNN. ABC (USA), NHK (Japan), Channel 7 & 9 (Australia), ZDF Germany and newspapers, magazines like TIME Magazine, National Geographic, New York Times, London Times, LA Times, The Guardian, Wall Street Journals and many others.

Laughing with others is a great way to build bridges and promote peace in the community.

Intrigued? Find a club near you!

Belief

“I can’t believe that!” said Alice.

“Can’t you? the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

That’s from Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll.

As coaches, aren’t we often asking our clients to believe “impossible” things? Their biggest dreams may not seem possible when they come to us, and – presto chango – they’re accomplished. Or it feels that way.

Really, it’s a process of reframing and providing support. We create a climate where the so-called impossible becomes possible, then likely, then probable, then real. First the dream, then the reality. First the vision, then the action plan.

I think that, beyond support, we bring clarity, perspective, and alternate framings. We help clients become very clear about their dreams by fleshing out, then honing in on their dreams. We bring perspective by helping clients plan steps to reach their dream. We look with them through their lens, then invite them to look through other lenses.

And underneath all this work is hope and belief. Stanton Friedman, Nuclear Physicist, said it beautifully on Sunday Morning: Absence of Evidence is not evidence for absence.

Old Dara Torres?

I’m delighted that Dara Torres won a spot on the Women’s Olympic Swimming Team. She’s been at this – winning – since she was fifteen, and at forty, she’s already had an illustrious career. Now, her considerable skill seems overshadowed rather than enhanced by two facts about her life – she’s a mother and she’s forty.

Now, it’s true that we don’t have a lot of athletes – especially female athletes – who are over forty. Martina Navratilova and Babe Zacharias Didrikson were the only two I found in an admittedly not-exhaustive Google search. Still, Dara isn’t geriatric yet. And part of me wishes the commentators weren’t making such a fuss over her age.

On the other hand, I think, what a marvelous thing it is that she’s forty. What a great opportunity for reframing concepts about age. Forty isn’t old. It may even be short of the midpoint. I love that Dara Torres certainly doesn’t think that forty is old. Certainly not too old to be a pretty new mother. Certainly not too old to compete and win. 

It’s exciting that we’re little by little getting it that age is just a number. It doesn’t define us. It doesn’t even necessarily limit us.  Omkari Panwar, age 72, delivered twins, a boy and a girl, by Caesarean section last week. Not a choice many of us will make, but it’s exciting to know it’s an option.

Grandma Moses started painting late in life. Many of my friends are creating new businesses in their sixties. Old Dara Torres? I suspect we ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

When Sulking Out Loud – STOP

At a recent event, a nationally-known former TV host was serving as MC. Her opening was pleasant enough – glad to be here, yadda yadda … and then, the payoff. She launched into a long diatribe about age discrimination. As she had experienced it. And as we were to experience vicariously in excruciating detail. She told us how famous and powerful she had been. Everyone was jealous. Everyone was out to get her. And they used age and gender against her.

Well, I was not the only one who didn’t want to hear this story. Here she stood, part of a glorious celebration, sharing her personal woes in great detail. There we were, trapped in our seats waiting for the next speaker. Here we are, celebrating age and experience. Here she is, making us part of her sad drama. There we are, hoping to return to celebrating age and achievement.

What’s the point? Jane Pauley isn’t young – and she’s working. Barbara Walters isn’t young – and lately (since the book) there’s no escaping her. Katherine Hepburn and Jessica Tandy never stopped working. Are they just exceptions? Or does it speak to attitude?

Some mornings, I get up and think, “I’m old.” Sometimes, I even say it out loud – usually when someone is trying to get me to do something I don’t want to do. And then I just get on with it. There are books to write and clients to see and courses to teach and I’m excited about all of them. Do I complain? Do my friends complain? You betcha! And we do it in private. Then we get over it and go back to doing whatever we do to be the vibrant people we want to be.

I wish she had done the same.

Smart Women

The Transition Network has just published its first book, Smart Women Don’t Retire – They Break Free: From Working Full-time to Living Full time and hosted a launch party at the Salmagundi Club. (Quick aside for the curious: Pronunciation:\ˌsal-mə-ˈgən-dē\
Function:noun Etymology:French salmigondis Date:circa 16741 : a salad plate of chopped meats, anchovies, eggs, and vegetables arranged in rows for contrast and dressed with a salad dressing2 : a heterogeneous mixture.)

The party was wonderful. The room was filled with vibrant, interesting women. Tyne Daly and Cynthia Harris read excerpts from the book. Women chatted about their own lives.

What are smart women up to? Everything. I spoke to a number of writers – published and aspiring. There was an advocate for elder care sharing the hard lesson she’d learned dealing with her parents’ final illnesses. I spoke with screenwriters, artists, copy editors, lawyers, film makers and actors. There were coaches, consultants, accountants, bankers and women who were having amazing adventures outside the workplace.

It’s exciting to have so many smart women in one place. And to know that there are over 2,000 more who have joined this network. It’s a movement! It’s Boomertime, Fearless Fifties, Mapping Midlife – spread the word. We’re still growing strong. Can’t wait to see us at 90!

The Woman’s Bible

Elizabeth Cady Stanton is best known for her work with Susan B. Anthony as co-founder of the National Woman Suffrage Association.

I was surprised to find out, in a recent conversation with Tyne Daly, that she encountered her greatest emnity for The Woman’s Bible, a critique of women’s treatment by religion. An excerpt can be found here. The book is still available on Amazon and is on my must-buy list.

All the recent controversy about what the Bible did and did not say about marriage makes me want to know what the Bible did and did not say about women. And about how it has been translated, reinterpreted, used and misused through the ages.

Discovering this compilation/critique makes me think about bravery. And scholarship. And stepping forward.

Would I have the patience, perseverance and bravery to complete a work like this?

Would you?